Turns out the apps didn't create that restriction though: we did.On Tinder particularly, "The purpose was never just for dating, it was for social discovery in general," Rosette Pambakian, vice president of communications for the app, told me.So I filled out my profiles honestly, noting in each I was not looking to date, "only make friends :)." This practice got trickier on more information-intensive apps—I literally responded to Coffee Meets Bagel's "I like it when my date…" query with a "doesn't want to date me. But Laurie Davis, author of and an online dating consultant, later told me that strategy was all wrong: Being direct was the kiss of death."If you're looking for friends, I would just not write anything about that until the very end if they ask you a question about it," she said. "On OKCupid, they ask you 'you should message me if…' and I would say something really casual there like, 'You think having a drink would be fun.' Use words like 'fun,' which is an indicator of more for social than anything else." She didn't have a lot of faith in my whole friend-getting scheme, really.
The ample matches I'd make would either a) never talk to me or b) always and incessantly talk to me and get upset if I didn't reply as rapidly or enthusiastically.So if that's an issue, we should probably just call it now."We did; he never responded.And he wasn't the only one who ghosted me after the big reveal.That said, I was confident friendship was going to be different on the apps.People would be chiller because the relationship stakes were lower. Still, I didn't want to play mind games with my future besties.