Even people who don’t vilify us still have a great deal of misconception. So let me explain how it works -- or, at least, how it works for us. As far back as I can remember, I felt that loving one person romantically did not preclude the possibility of loving another at the same time. But I had no models for that way of living, so I assumed there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t shake the feeling that some part of me was repressed.Aren’t you just “having your cake and eating it too,” they ask me? I married my husband and remained in a monogamous relationship with him for many years. When I learned about polyamorous relationships, I knew that’s what I wanted. It sounded fine for other people, but just not him.After we finally kissed for the first time, I forced myself to have an upfront conversation.Because polyamory don’t rely on familiar social scripts, it’s crucial to spell out terms and expectations rather than relying on assumptions.Article Roundup Awkward Bad Dates Book Break Ups Casual Dating Casual sex Cheating Commitment Date Like a Man Dating Dating & Finances Dating 2.0 Dating After Divorce Dating In a Big City Dating is Fun Dating Lies Dating Myths Dating Over 35 Dating Over 40 Dating Realities Dating Skills Dating The Crazy Douchey Guys First Date Etiquette First Date Sex First Impressions Happy & Healthy Hook Up Culture Latests Posts Meeting Men Meeting Women Moxie 101 NEW! I’m polyamorous, which means I believe you can love multiple partners at the same time.That first romantic relationship of mine only lasted 10 months (though he remains one of my closest friends). I was hurting from the breakup and not in any rush to put my feelings on the line again.Still, I was happy knowing I had that freedom when the right person came along. My boyfriend and I met through our leftist politics. We built a friendship over a period of months, often sitting up talking until sunrise on my back porch.
He understood that I never would have asked this if it hadn’t been extremely important. My husband was an incredibly jealous person back then, but he began to question its usefulness and purpose.Once he became comfortable with the idea, I began dating my friend from school. Choosing to be polyamorous doesn’t mean you instantly flip a switch that extinguishes all jealousy.But it does mean that we seek to understand why we’re feeling insecure.He hadn’t been familiar with polyamory before, though he said the idea made sense to him immediately.I knew I was falling for him, and suspected he felt the same, but I was uncertain whether he would want to be in a polyamorous relationship.