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Your letter is a useful place for you to unpack how you’re seeing and talking about things.You say that you enjoyed flirting and sexual chat with someone online.At the time your wife wasn’t aware of what was going on and afterwards you hoped she’d not discover it.You knew this was a secret non-monogamous relationship.It is also worth remembering that dealing with an affair can take time, not least to find ways to communicate and rebuild trust.Are one or both of you pushing things at a pace the other is not comfortable with?

Being able to talk through what happened with people taking responsibility for their actions while avoiding blame can be a very tall order - one that is not always welcome when a relationship is in crisis and where those who have been hurt may simultaneously want to both shame and stay with their spouse.People can get stuck in situations where they deny problems exist or refuse to forgive a partner.In such cases additional help through therapy or mediation may be beneficial.Chat filter and rules are intended to minimize inappropriate language.We didn't observe any swear words or words intended to circumvent the filter during this review; however, such language has been reported on the website.